Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
