I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
