How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize