making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
