sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
