I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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