My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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