hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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