His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
