I am puke
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
