Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
