when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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