she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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