God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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