He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
