bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
