i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
