Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
MIDGETS
????
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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