Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
