ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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