You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
