dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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