Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
