i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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