operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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