did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
