so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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