Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
