i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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