my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
