i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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