You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
