What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We named our party play list daddy issues
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
