Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
