Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
