they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How external is "for external use only"?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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