I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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