you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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