wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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