Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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