Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
thus making me awesome and them whores
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
