is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
