Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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