You just made me feel so damn special
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
