is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
