I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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