I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
