Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
