I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
