Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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