she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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