We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Mom said you looked used
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
