Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
