We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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