Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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