If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We have started to decorate penises.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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