Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
