Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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