Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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