I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
