I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize