I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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