Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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