I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
