I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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