jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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