Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
