So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Duck Duck Cougar?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
